Today is my birthday. I've been mulling over this blog all day. I hate to say its been a bad day, just not particularly great and not overly 'birthdayish.' Now I don't want that to be rude to my parents, brother, sister-in-law and niece. I really enjoyed spending the weekend with them. I think we all had a good time and enjoyed camping. The thing is though, life is not 'great' right now.
To be fair, life hasn't been great for a while. And I know, birthdays are not always the big deals we play them up to be in our minds. I'm a big girl and I have definitely had my share of bad birthdays. Last year I was one week post op from a stomach/esophagus surgery and couldn't eat solid food-and it was my 30th! In 2004, I turned 24 and was the first birthday I spent away from my family, ever. It was also one week after the 1st and most damaging hurricane went through where I was living in Florida. I had spent most of the week with out power and working 16-18 hour shifts dealing with hurricane clean up and relief for the city I worked for. I was exhausted after working a 'short' day (12 hours) and barely made it through dinner with a friend awake!
There have also been good birthdays, times I won't ever forget, but they seem to be coming fewer and fewer. Most years now this day comes and goes relatively quietly and quickly and I barely remember what happened. I'm not looking for simpathy or looking for a grand gesture; its just the way it is. I've thought about throwing myself a party and that just seems sad. The awful truth is, since I'm a (sad) single, there really isn't anyone particularly special to make a big deal out of me.
As I sit here tonight, I'm trying my best not to wallow in sadness and self pity. I have tons of things to do and really don't have time to mess around. I have to go back to work tomorrow after a week off and get ready for the first days of school for my kiddos. I will probably be working a 10 hour day and need to buck up and get excited. (Though lately that is becoming harder and harder.)
So, in the meanwhile, I'll post a few pictures from my weekend and do my best to remember the good times in my life. I've teased over the past few months that I think I deserved a re-done 30th birthday. To be honest though, my 30th year sucked royal and I don't want a repeat. I will attempt to look forward to what I can do to make my life better with the situations and what I have been given in this life. It may not always be good, but its mine and I need to 'deal with it.' Wish me luck.
Enjoy the photos!
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| I like this picture. Kayla is rushing to her chair for some reason and Mom is enjoying a S'more. Nothing is better with camping than s'mores. |
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| Love, love, love, love this. She is so funny! |
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| Campfire. Love that smell and the warmth on a cool summer night. |
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| Adorable. |
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| Fishing. She caught nothing and had no bites. So, she got bored and frustrated very quickly. It would however be par for the course yesterday. No fish were caught and we only had 1 or 2 nibbles. No one was successful in this family. (I did not fish as I think it is gross and don't eat meat, but Mom, Dad, Phil and Kayla all attempted to fish.) |
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| Pretty flowers by the shore. |
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| Tiny spider web I almost stepped on. Glad I did not. |
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| Sorry Megan. This was the snake that swam right in front of us while Kayla was fishing. It was one of three we saw in the water yesterday. Honestly (and I'm not a big fan of snakes) it was kind of cool to see them swimming. |
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| Phillip & Kayla fishing. |
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| Dad out on the boat dock while Kayla fished. |
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| I'm not sure if you can see it, but Mom had the tiniest inchworm on her leg and we got a picture. Kayla, Mom and I thought it was cool. Have I mentioned I love Nature? |
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| Kayla showing off a 'baby' pine cone for the photo scavenger hunt. I made a list and sent Phillip and Kayla around the campsite and through part of the campgrounds to find 15 items and photograph them. |
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| Mom & Dad fishing. |
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| Kayla and I saw this while on a short walk/adventure and we decided this was a fairy house. "I believe in fairies, April." Kayla told me. I think I do too! |
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| I like dragonflies. And there are so many different kinds/colors. Beautiful! |
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| Kayla eating a 'disgusting' pickle. I had to take a nausea pill just smelling it. (Though in her defense, I do that a lot anyway!) |
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| Mom, Phillip and Megan assembling pies. Love eating pie iron, campfire pies. Too bad I wasn't 'allowed' to have any. Stupid esophagus. |
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| Phillip made a very large fire. He was extremely proud of it and used my camera and Mom & Dad's to take pictures of his accomplishment. Way to go Phil! |
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| Kayla & Phillip. The apple does not fall far from the tree! |
