Sounds of Silence

I like to talk.  Its one of the good things about what I do for a living.  I get to talk.  At the Front Desk, with my kids, with parents, staff, at events, in meetings; I do a lot of talking.  So, that said, its really hard for me right now.  I can't talk.  I have a little bit of a 'squalk' but, on the whole not a lot is coming out.  To me its embarrassing.  I am not able to effectively live my life, do my job and function as I normally would.  Even as a single person I'm always talking at home.  Whether its on the phone, talking to myself or normally singing along with whatever music I have playing while I'm doing other things.  So, I'm kind of at a lose.

Its not that I haven't had laryngitis before.  I have.  In the past several years I've had many bouts.  It usually lasts 2 days and then I get most of my voice back.  That is not happening this time.  I suppose that is part of what's frustrating me.  I'm not making a rebound.  I saw my internist on Thursday and he recommended rest and fluids.  We can't do any type of meds because A, they probably wouldn't do anything and B, they would exacerbate my other issues.  We both know where this comes from and that is, to me, becoming infuriating.  I'm not mad at the doctors, that would be silly.  I'm mad at myself, a little at God (sorry, I know its wrong) and just mad in general.  My esophagus and stomach cause this.  Acid corrosion in my esophagus onto my vocal chords, and the raging infection in my esophagus that has probably moved into my vocal chords, are the underlying problem.  Is there no end to the litany of problems that my digestive system feels the need to throw at me?

So, here I sit.  In silence.  I've spent the bulk of the weekend at home, in my room, resting.  No talking.  Communication through e-mail, texts, Facebook and now Blogger.  I'm dealing with the situation and pray that tomorrow I'll wake up and things will get better.  I've been silent and that is 'supposed' to help.  I don't feel like it has but, what can I do but try?  I'll wait it out for now.  I go back to the doctor on Thursday and see no point in attempting to call before then.  I've just gotta deal with it and do the best I can.  (Can you tell I'm trying to give myself a pep talk?)

Anyway, the best thing about this weekend has been resting and working on simple things.  You'll see in my photos below some of the things I've been doing.  Hope you like my pictures.  If you need to get a hold of me, e-mail, text or Facebook would be best for the foreseeable future.  Don't bother trying to call, I won't be answering.  *sigh*

Have a great week!!

I have wanted to try my hand at embroidery and this is my first real attempt.  I like it.  It took a little more time than I thought and isn't perfect, but it's cute.

Yummy vegan chocolate chip pancakes I had for dinner.  Not really 'healthy' but healthier than the alternative.  No milk, eggs, oil, so a little better than usual.  And they were really good!

I had to go to the store yesterday (for medicine) so I took a more scenic route home.  This was along the way and I thought it was a pretty view.

I had to get out today and found this tree trunk.  Pretty in its decomposing state.  Yeah, it was covered with fungus!

More fungus in my yard.  This is on/beside a tree stump in the front yard.  Fungus doing its job!

More fungus that's on the stump.  So pretty.

Changing leaves.  Welcome Fall!!!

A breathtaking sunset.  I almost missed it.  I went to the kitchen and was washing up a few dishes and happened to look out the window above the sink.  I saw this, grabbed my jacket, camera and ran to the back yard.  Glad I did as it was gone in literally 3 minutes.

To end this post, I'll conclude with the lyrics from a song I've been listening to a lot lately.  I travel a good deal, and am several hours and quite a few miles away from the people I love the most.  My heart is spread out in Ohio and the US as a whole.  But, I love this song because as the last lines say, 'don't count the miles, count the I Love You's.'

Miles sung by Christina Perri

Kiss me on my shoulder
Tell me its not over
Promise to always come home to you
Remind me that I'm older
To be brave, smart, sweet and bolder
Don't give up on what we're trying to do

Don't count the miles
Count the I Love Yous

More baking...

Today I was baking again. This time I made bread.  I really like making bread.  There is something so comforting, simple and 'real' about baking bread.  To me nothing in this world will ever compare to the smell of a house where bread is being made.  It is beyond description, so I won't try.  If you've never made bread (and I DON'T mean with a bread machine), I recommend it highly.  I find when I'm making bread I immerse myself in the process and it is an excellent way, for me at least, to relieve tension and find a little bit of balance.  I feel pretty good tonight, and part of that I'd like to think has to do with my domestic activities today.  I like working on my home.  Baking cookies & bread; doing laundry; sewing.  These are all things that focus on the place I live, which is part of my core and when I care for and enjoy my 'nest', I find a little bit of peace and relief. 

I've been making bread since I was a child (many long years ago).  I've always enjoyed the process and am firmly committed to anti-bread machine methods.  Bread machines take out some of the most fulfilling and unique parts of this process that I refuse to skip.  I really enjoy mixing the yeast and watching it bubble, (science is cool.)  I especially love kneading the dough.  When I've had a tough day, that is a great alternative to breaking something.  (Not that I would, say, break off a cup holder in my car in a fit of temper or maybe break a vase.  Who does that?)  Anyway, I remember distinctly the first time I made bread.  It was 2nd grade and we made bread around Thanksgiving time.  Our teacher helped us shape the pieces into a Teddy Bear.  I can still see him in my head, all shiny and smiling.  That was also the first time I made real butter from whipping cream.  I'm proud to say these are both traditions that I have myself carried on as a teacher and in a few weeks we'll be doing both of those activities with our Preschoolers.  I love tradition.  I'm always told I get my baking skills and love for the process from my Loma. (She was, in simple terms, my great grandmother.  Its way more complicated that than, but that's a story for another time.)  She was a master baker and my family likes to tell me I'm channeling her when I'm baking.  I am pretty good at it too, if I say so myself. 

So, tonight I'm reveling in my baking and enjoying the fact that summer is coming to a close.  It wasn't stifling to have the oven on all afternoon.  Now I have 2 loaves of bread.  One is for me and the other I believe I'll pass along to a friend who might need a little pick me up.  I hope she and her family enjoy it as much as I do.  For now though, enjoy my photos of part of my bread making process and imagine, if you can, the glorious scent filling my house and my heart tonight with home baked loveliness.

Yeast, sugar and almond milk 'fermenting.'  I love watching the bubbles rise!  By the way, this is, of course, a Vegan recipe.  You would never know the difference.

The first rising.  I have this bowl, that frankly I don't usually use for anything else.  It is a Pyrex bowl, and it is purple.  I love it for the Pyrex glass and it is huge!  Its a perfect bowl for this.

After the first rising, ready to knead and roll out.

The first recipes I used were from the Betty Crocker Cookbook.  I'm sure the edition was a 1970s version, as my Mother got it when she got married.  I would love to have my own copy of that edition.  My new edition sucks.  The recipes are changed and it is just awful.  In the bread recipe they walk you through forming the dough into a loaf.  First, as in this picture, you roll it out into a large rectangle. 

Then you roll up the dough.

Until it looks like this.

Finally you tuck the ends under...

and put it in your greased bread pans.  I bought these glass bread pans about a year ago and LOVE them.  My other pans were much more shallow and wide.  These are deep and narrow.  Perfect for home made bread.

I usually use one  of my pretty napkins to cover the bread during the risings.  It adds a little flare to the process.

After the second rising.  Isn't that beautiful?!

And 30 minutes later, beautiful, if not perfectly shaped, loaves of bread.  All the effort, clean up and time was SO worth it!

One of my current favorite things about making my own bread is that I can slice it super thin.  I have trouble with bread as the density is not easy to get down my damaged esophagus, and being able to make it really thin helps a lot.

No, this has nothing to do directly with my baking.  But, when I went to take the garbage out to the garbage can, I was this little guy crawling on the shingles on the back of my house.  Of course I had to snap a few photos!

Chock Full (Vegan) Chocolate Chip Cookies

I love it when the weather is cooler.  I have always been a big fan of fall.  I have always despised summer.  I am thrilled summer is coming to a close and fall is upon us.  I can't wait for the changing leaves, apple cider, Halloween, Thanksgiving and all of the other joys that come with this time of year.

One of the things I don't do very often in summer, due to lack of air conditioning in my home, is bake.  I really like to bake.  I wanted to make bread today, but didn't have quite enough time to do so, since I worked a few hours today.  (It was kinda fun at work, we cleaned out the main toy closet and ORGANIZED everything. That makes me and my type A personality happy!)  So, since I didn't have time for bread baking, I wanted to make something.  Chocolate Chip cookies was the obvious substitution.  Easy, relatively fast and oh, so yummy!

While I haven't been adhering to a strict Vegan diet lately (I really should get back to it), I still try to avoid using milk and eggs.  So, I hit the cookbooks to find a recipe for Vegan Choc. Chip cookies.  One recipe intrigued me, but I had to do a little 'adjusting.'  The recipe below is my adaptation and I must say I LOVE THESE COOKIES!  They are a little bit crispy, cake-like and full of goodies.  Chocolate chips were just a starting point.  What this evolved into was soooooooo good!

April's Chock Full (Vegan) Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients
1 1/4 cup flour (preferably unbleached white flour)
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
2/3 cup sugar
1/2 cup applesauce (I used chunky applesauce because that's what I like.)
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup Vegan Chocolate Chips
1/4 cup (or a tad more) dried cranberries

Directions:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Mix flour, baking soda, and cinnamon until well blended in a small bowl.  Set aside.  Mix sugar, applesauce and vanilla until blended in a larger bowl.  Add dry ingredients to the applesauce mixture.  Mix until a soft, solid dough is formed.  Add chocolate chips and cranberries.
Drop by rounded teaspoon onto an un-greased baking sheet.  Bake for 12-15 minutes or until golden brown on the top.  Remove from the cookie sheet and cool on a cooling rack.  ENJOY!

(One of my favorite things about vegan baking is you don't have to worry about sampling the dough-NO EGG!  I wouldn't encourage you to eat tons of it as it will probably lay heavy in your stomach, but a sample or two is not out of the question!)

Below you will find a few photos of my baking adventure.  They're all the pictures I got today.  Between work and the fact that my lips started to swell within five minutes of leaving the house, my hope for taking a walk/hike today was ruined.  Maybe in another month I'll be able to enjoy being outdoors.

In other sad news, tomorrow is the day of the run I had planned to go to in Columbus.  I had hoped that 7 weeks of training would have gotten me somewhat in shape to complete the 5k but, because of my knee and allergies, I had to put that hope away too.  Now I am just fat and lazy and miserable.  Ick!  I need to start working out again.  I only have another week and a half before I go see the orthopedist, so hopefully after that he'll release me to start up my workouts again, this time with some tips and a plan to prevent further damage to my bones!


Okay, sorry for my deluge of misery and whining.  I'll try to be positive.  Anyway, enjoy the photos below and have a happy Sunday!!!

The only type of applesauce I buy.  I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to applesauce.  It is a major staple in my diet and currently I will only eat two kinds of applesauce, Musselman's and the stuff I make myself.  I'll have more on my recipe for applesauce as we venture further into fall.  It is really yummy and pretty simple to make.

My preferred brand of chocolate chips.  Vegan and mini, a wonderful combination.

The dough.

Large teaspoons full on the baking sheet, ready to be baked.

Look at that golden brown color.  Yum, yum!

You can see how many chips get in each cookie as well as the cranberries.

Lots of chocolatey goodness.

The recipe made a dozen and a half good sized cookies.