So, I've been thinking...

Hey friends, I'm back tonight.  I wasn't quite ready to log off after all.  I was out in the kitchen unpacking my medicine kit and I had a thought. I've had this particular thought several times lately and I've decided to go ahead and do it.  Maybe people will read it, maybe not.  We'll see.  I'm not asking for pity. Or advice.  (Friends, I hate advice, my health is mine and I know how to deal with it.)  I just want to share my medical story and all the problems I've had health wise.  I'll explain some of my conditions, talk a lot about procedures, doctors, doctor visits (both of those good and BAD), medications, schedules, etc.  It will probably be in bits and pieces and if you want to share some of your story, please feel free to do so.

Tonight, I thought I'd start out simply.  My current medications.  It's kind of funny, if you don't have to take them, pay for them or really think too much about it.  ;)  I shot a few photos while I was putting them away.  I tried not to show all the labels (I need a tad bit of privacy), but you get the general idea.  And to be honest.  This is as much for me to maybe 'remember' someday how much I was taking back when.  Maybe in a few months or a year I'll look back on this and think 'Holy Crap' I was taking that much stuff?'

So, without further ado, this is what my day looks like, medication wise.  Enjoy?

My morning.  (From left to right) My first chug of my new med, my powder in my tea, 1 vitamin (huge), 2 chewable vitamins, 1 capsule, 1 tablet, the first of this capsule, and the first of this tablet.  Lovely.  8 medications to start the day!

This combo will then happen 2 times.  Once at lunch (if I actually eat, probably not), then later when I get home from work.  Yummy!

And this is my bedtime routine.  I hate the bedtime routine.  It is large and so much!  1 chug, powder, 2 huge vitamin pills, 2 sprays (each nostril), another huge vitamin, another tablet, 2 more tablets, another tablet, another tablet, the 2nd of this capsule, another capsule and the last tablet.  Yeah!  12 more meds! Who hooo!  Can you say moo-la!

Now this section is what I like to call my incidentals.  These are my current daily required incidentals.  1 capsule, at least 4 dissoluble tabs, and at least 4 little pills.  (The little pills are my happy pills!)

These are my other incidentals.  Some I very rarely, if ever take.  Others I take somewhat regularly.  My benadryl is a regular, the large white tabs are migraine pills which are regulars and the inhaler can be a regular in the summer.  The other 2 we really hope to avoid at all cost!

 Well, I hope you've been intrigued by this strange post.  All told I take 18 different medications currently, 30 doses of medications daily, and 38 pills, powders, sprays, chugs all in total.  Wow.  I find that amazing.  I'm a chemical stew!

November 9 - Thankful (Plus a few photos for a welcome change of pace)

Today I actually took a few photos to put up here on my photo blog.  What an accomplishment.  I am amazing.  Can you hear the sarcasm dripping in my writing?  Its there, believe me.

Before I post them, let me bore you with several things.  Some much needed information about my day and my list of things I'm thankful for today.

First off, it has been a unique day.  At times I have been extremely happy and high as a kite (quite literally.)  Other times, I have been dashed against the rocks and as low as a person can be.  Pain is a bi**h.  I actually (against doctors orders) took my Oxycontin 2 times today.  The pain was bad.  I really didn't eat anything significant to speak of, even with all the pain medications, but I really needed it to get me through.  I have such a long list for the GI tomorrow.  I am working on my assertiveness and am going to be VERY firm and EXTREMELY honest with him.  Maybe I should print out some of my logs from this blog to show him exactly how I've been feeling.  Its a thought. 

The good news is that my appointment with the ENT (ear, nose, and throat doctor) went very well.  The looked at my vocal chords and they are in great shape.  The problem with my voice is actually because my throat and mouth are WAY to dry.  I have dry mucus in my throat.  How does one have dry mucus?  I am confused about that but believe the incredibly handsome educated and smart doctor and am going to start a new medication to help with the problem.  He said it all probably began with all the medications that I take.  About half of them cause dry mouth and throat and it is just making a slightly natural predilection for me worse.  So, we'll work on that.  Easy enough solution.  I just hate taking 2 more pills a day.  With that my count will almost be up to 30 pills/doses of medications a day!  OMG - I'm only 31.  Can you imagine where I'll be when I'm 40?

On to the next topic of conversation.  My thankfulness.  Today I am thankful for:

1. Books - I stopped at Barnes and Noble to get my 'dinner' (a croissant-not too doughy, a banana, and a hot apple cider) at the Starbucks there and browsed around the children's section.  I found the most adorable book about an Owl and I can't wait to read it to my preschoolers tomorrow or Friday!
2. Directions - The directions to the clinic for the ENT were great and I got there with no trouble at all.  I was early (big surprise for me) and had plenty of time to use the restroom, take my pain meds (thank you God) and drink a protein shake well before my appointment so I didn't risk vomiting when they did the camera down my throat.
3. My organizational skills - I have all of my things neatly packed and stowed away and all is set for the night and for the morning.  Hopefully all will go smoothly and I will be up and ready in plenty of time to leave my motel room and make the 15 minute trek down the road to the hospital for my doctor's visit in the morning.  (Sorry, that sounded really vain didn't it?)

Okay, now on to a few pictures.  I hope you like them.  Have a lovely evening and a wonderful tomorrow.  Love to everyone, everywhere (can you tell I'm high again?)  Enjoy!

A very ominous sky while I was driving after my doctor's appointment.  Spooky!

The sky getting a bit brighter!

A bright and glorious sky!  Beautiful!

The book I got at Barnes and Noble.  Isn't it so cute?!

Some fabric I picked up at Jo-Ann, etc.  Hmmm....

I'm home

Hello friends, I'm home.  Yesterday I left Ohio State Med.  I had been there since Tuesday afternoon and sadly, nothing has changed.  I had several tests, some very unpleasant and had help keeping my pain under control.  Now I'm home and waiting...none of the doctors know what the problem is and I'm lost.  I'm taking this week off of work to sort out my feelings and try to come to terms with what is happening, especially if no one can find anything to help.  I'm waiting for a few more test results, but honestly don't have much confidence that they will reveal everything.

Please be patient with me as I try to find my footing.  I'm a bit emotional right now and very confused.  Is it just me?  Am I being to sensitive?  Am I crazy?  I hope not and I pray the doctors will continue to help.  But, for now, I'll go. 

Best to all.  I'll try to take a few photos in the coming week and post something interesting for you.

April

Day 6: Dream a little dream of...

Today's writing is about what I dreamed last night.  Unfortunately I didn't get much sleep last night and don't recall any dreams.  Instead I'll tell you about what happened when I was 'out' for my procedure today.  I'm wishing it was a dream, but...

Today I had a procedure that is becoming quite routine for me.  However, as all things medical go, I've never had a 'routine' experience.  Somehow there is always something different or 'off' each time that makes each experience unique.  (How I wish this wasn't so!)  Today something happened during my procedure that does not normally happen and I pray never happens again.  I didn't get to speak to my surgeon after the procedure (he's the chief of surgery and often has to skip out right afterwards.)  I spoke with one of his residents but decided to wait to speak with Dr. Melvin about this at my follow up in a couple weeks.

So things started out normally.  Hooked up to my IV, tons of routine questions, into the procedure room and start to get ready.  The nurse got me all set, the doctors came in and things were ready to go.  They put this lovely bite/tube in your mouth, shoot you up with a lovely combination of medications and soon you feel a bit drowsy and fall into a 'dream like sleep.'  Usually you are pretty much out and don't know what's going on and/or feel anything.  On one prior occasion I had had several procedures with anesthesia in a few weeks and I had built up a tolerance.  I was 'numb' to what was happening but stayed pretty much awake throughout the process.  I thought it was kind of cool to hear what the docs were saying and see a little bit of what was the camera saw on the monitor. 

This time, however, I was 'asleep' but at the end of my procedure something happened.  I 'woke up' and could feel everything but wasn't able to open my eyes and (obviously since I had a tube down my throat) to speak.  I felt the tube in my throat, I heard what the doctors were talking about (the infection in my esophagus), and to my horror, felt when he took a biopsy.  The pinch and stab was not pleasant.

At some point they must have either given me more medication or I just fell back under because the next thing I remember was being back in one of the rooms.  When I woke up the memory of the experience was fresh and frankly I was a bit upset and frazzled.  I mentioned to the nurse when I was finally really awake that I experienced quite a bit of the procedure and she was a bit horrified herself.  I didn't go into detail and as I said didn't get to speak directly with MY surgeon, but rest assured this will be something we talk about at my visit and hopefully we can avoid having this happen again.  Honestly, its still kinda freaking me out and I don't want to talk about it any more.  I have a feeling I know what I'm going to dream about tonight and I don't think its going to be pleasant!

Saturday in the Park...

Yes I started my Saturday out in the park.  To try to achieve my goal of 'running' I got up early (for a Saturday) and was off to the park.  I went to West State Street Park, a favorite of mine, and jogged/walked in intervals for 30 minutes.  My intervals were 90 seconds jogging; 2 minutes walking.  Not the best, but a start.  I think I went about 1.5 miles.  Not bad for my first attempt.  But, I certainly hope I get better.  That would be embarassing at the 5K.

Then I headed off to the Community Center to clean up (no water at the house when I got up this morning.)  And off to the clinic for a quick blood draw.  Yeah.

Now I'm home and have been cleaning and boiling water for several hours.  I hope the house looks ok.  I have visitors on the way, my little brother Phillip, his wife Megan and .... my baby girl Kayla Sue.  Kay is coming to spend the week with me just as Nick did a few weeks ago.  I am excited (and nervous) to have a child again and can't wait to spend some precious bonding time with my girl.  I'm so thrilled!!!!

I'm not sure what we'll do this afternoon.  There's a festival in town (Athens), we might go putt putt, maybe head to a park, or ?  I don't know.  We'll see what they are up for and decide from there.

Meanwhile, I'll post a few pictures from around the house for today and promise my pictures in the coming days will be better.

Have a great weekend!!

My living room/dining room.  Not a fancy (or particularly neat) house but, mine all the same.

A picture I colored while Nick was here.  I love pooh bear! (But Piglet is my favorite!)

A faux flower arrangement I realized I've had for almost 9 years.  Holy crap.

My current reading material.  I love Mr. Darcy.  Elizabeth is okay.  :)

A cross stitch piece my mother made for me.

Not a bad day. That's good.

So, today I had my 5th EGD.  (For those of you not familiar with gastrointestinal medicine, an EGD is a scope that is placed down your esophagus to see your esophagus and stomach.)  And I found out this will not be my last.  Not by a long shot.  I'm a bit depressed about that but, I have a great doctor (Dr. Melvin at OSU is the best!) and I know he's doing what is best and keeping me capable of eating.  (Yeah, I suppose that's a good thing.)  Because of my condition I will now be getting an EGD with a balloon inserted to expand my esophagus every 6-8 (maybe/hopefully a bit longer between) weeks.  I'm shocked with that but, as one of the residents explained, the EGDs are easier than a major surgery. But, that may in the future be a reality to fix the problem on a permanent basis.

Anyway, I'm back at my parent's house now relaxing and recuperating. I'm feeling okay, not too much pain and hope to be on my way home tomorrow.  This procedure so far seems to have caused less irritation than the lat one. Since I am not 'supposed' to drive or make an major decisions for the rest of the day (stupid anesthesia) my photos for the day will be ones taken around my parent's home.  Particularly, the garden that my father has created in the front yard.

Enjoy!!

Home.  No matter where I go, how old I am; this will always be home.

My parent's spectacular garden.  My Dad has done an incredible job creating this garden.  Its amazing to think that this garden sits on the former site of our house. 

Bella's Angel.  Miss you baby.

Taylor's Angel.  Miss you baby.

A lily.  I had a different shot that is a more head-on, clear version; but I really liked this one.

Grapes growing on the vine over the arch at the entry to the garden.

Trumpet Vine and a wasp.

Some of my Dad's awesome handiwork.  He can paint and craft a lot of cool stuff.  (And weld).

A large dog.  Yup, that's Duke.  My favorite puppy.

Green beans growing in the garden.  (Alongside some lettuce I'll be taking home with me.)

Beautiful lily.

Dad's gazing ball.  Can you see me?

A natural flower arrangement.

Antique gardening equipment.  And beautiful hostas.

The garden entrance.

My absolute favorite picture.  My hydrangea looks awesome and you can actually see small threads of spider webs in the shot.  So cool.

More pretty flowers.  This is the hanging basket on the back deck.  Not actually in the garden.

I think small people must work here.

Some of my grandpa's whirly gigs.  Can't believe he's been gone for over 15 years.  I miss him like it was yesterday.

Wow!!  That is a lot of photos.  Hope you liked them.  Leave a comment if you'd like to, I'd love to hear from my readers!

A lovely weekend

I was supposed to work today.  It wasn't mandatory, but I have work that needs to be done by tomorrow morning and didn't have time to do it last week.  However, I didn't care.  No, that's not right, I just choose to adapt to the work habits of most of the rest of the world, especially for those who receive the type of pay I do and not go for 125%.  I didn't go to work after church.  I will have to go in early tomorrow, but I deserve a full weekend, just like everyone else.  I am not a slave and my job is not my life.  I am letting go. 

My gross lack of motivation stems from a pattern of issues with my work and a growing lack of passion for what I do.  I am a little bit concerned by this, but after over 7 years of hard work and dedication, I have seen it makes no difference.  People who do less work, are less involved and dedicated receive a paycheck all the same and don't have the stress and concern that I do.  I can no longer give myself completely to my job and I think I will be better for it. 

Anyway, most of last week I spent my evenings working on some very important projects.  I could not post about them, as my most dedicated reader was the reciepient of these projects yesterday.  I did not want to give away the surprise before the shower, so no posting.  Now though, I am free to post my photos for the projects I was working on and the pictures from my friend Jenn's baby shower.  The shower was yesterday in Dover and was lovely.  I had a great time seeing Jenn (it's been over a year and a half since we've seen each other in person!)  I also enjoyed talking with some of her family but mostly sharing in the excitement and anticipation of the birth of her first child.  Henry Donald is due on September 9th and it is wonderful to see what a loving family he will be joining and how thrilled they are with his anticipated arrival. 

So, here are my photos for the week. 

Baby Elephant Fabric (Debbie Mumm design, bought at Joann Fabrics).  When I learned Jenn was pregnant I immediately began planning to make something.  Then my search started and I knew I had to find nursery fabric with elephants.  (Jenn likes elephants.)  This was actually the 2nd fabric I had bought, but I LOVE IT!  I hope Jenn did too and that I didn't use it too much!

Diaper Pouch.  I have a travel pack of wipes and 4 size 2 diapers in here.  Snug, but big enough for what you need.  It can be thrown in a purse, diaper bag or just taken on its own.  Hopefully it comes in handy.

Inside view of the diaper pouch.

Decorative Pillow.  I wanted to make a pillow, but for a baby?  No.  So I made a pillow anyway and attached a handle so it can be used as decoration.  I really love this fabric.

Inside of the diaper bag.  It has 4 inside pockets and the fabric inside coordinates with the exterior elephant fabric. 

Outside view of the diaper bag.  Each end has a bottle pocket and the handles match the interior fabric.  It's approx. 15 long x 11 high x 3wide.

A photo of me all dressed up for the shower.  I love this dress (originally purchased for Easter) and am liking the length of my hair right now.  Now if only I can start losing weight again I'd be happy.  But that requires a strict diet and working out.  Hmmmmm....Hope this isn't too scary!

Lovely, glowing Jenn!!  I love that monkey balloon and am so glad here theme for the baby's room is Jungle.  I think that is such a fun theme!! 

Jenn's level of reading.  Just kidding.  Jenn got several children's books for Henry's collection.  Goodnight Moon is a great book.

My present(s).  Along with the diaper bag (which was packed with essentials), diaper pouch, and pillow, I had also made 3 bibs (forgot to take photos) and gave her a book-'Teddy Bear Picnic.' I love the song and book and find my children (at work and niece/nephews) love it when I 'sing' books to them.  I hope Henry does too!

A terrible (grainy, out of focus, poor lighting) picture of Jenn with my diaper bag.  I don't know why I didn't pay attention that this didn't come out well.  Too much gushing and talking probably.

Jenn with the afghan my Mom made.  Love the color and it was sooooooo soft!  My Mom is awesome.

Cupcakes.  Yummy!  They looked so good and I really wanted to eat one but, probably would not have been well received by my poorly functioning esophagus.  No doughy food for me right now.  I hope they get this fixed on Tuesday so I can eat stuff like this again!

Hope you enjoyed my work and the pictures of my lovely friend.  She was radient and obviously so happy and that makes me happy!  I love you Jenn; and Terry and Henry too!!!

Now, don't expect to hear much from me this week either.  I am having another 'procedure' on Tuesday and will be taking the day off from work (mandatory) and another day off afterwards to make sure I am completely recovered afterwards.  (Last time things did not go as well as I'd hoped and well, I may have spent a brief hiatus at the ER making sure all was well.  I KNOW that will not happen again but am being cautious and taking an extra day to be sure all is good before I return to work.  It's not like I don't have the time to use!!!)

Best wishes for a lovely week. 

April D  :)