So, I've been thinking...

Hey friends, I'm back tonight.  I wasn't quite ready to log off after all.  I was out in the kitchen unpacking my medicine kit and I had a thought. I've had this particular thought several times lately and I've decided to go ahead and do it.  Maybe people will read it, maybe not.  We'll see.  I'm not asking for pity. Or advice.  (Friends, I hate advice, my health is mine and I know how to deal with it.)  I just want to share my medical story and all the problems I've had health wise.  I'll explain some of my conditions, talk a lot about procedures, doctors, doctor visits (both of those good and BAD), medications, schedules, etc.  It will probably be in bits and pieces and if you want to share some of your story, please feel free to do so.

Tonight, I thought I'd start out simply.  My current medications.  It's kind of funny, if you don't have to take them, pay for them or really think too much about it.  ;)  I shot a few photos while I was putting them away.  I tried not to show all the labels (I need a tad bit of privacy), but you get the general idea.  And to be honest.  This is as much for me to maybe 'remember' someday how much I was taking back when.  Maybe in a few months or a year I'll look back on this and think 'Holy Crap' I was taking that much stuff?'

So, without further ado, this is what my day looks like, medication wise.  Enjoy?

My morning.  (From left to right) My first chug of my new med, my powder in my tea, 1 vitamin (huge), 2 chewable vitamins, 1 capsule, 1 tablet, the first of this capsule, and the first of this tablet.  Lovely.  8 medications to start the day!

This combo will then happen 2 times.  Once at lunch (if I actually eat, probably not), then later when I get home from work.  Yummy!

And this is my bedtime routine.  I hate the bedtime routine.  It is large and so much!  1 chug, powder, 2 huge vitamin pills, 2 sprays (each nostril), another huge vitamin, another tablet, 2 more tablets, another tablet, another tablet, the 2nd of this capsule, another capsule and the last tablet.  Yeah!  12 more meds! Who hooo!  Can you say moo-la!

Now this section is what I like to call my incidentals.  These are my current daily required incidentals.  1 capsule, at least 4 dissoluble tabs, and at least 4 little pills.  (The little pills are my happy pills!)

These are my other incidentals.  Some I very rarely, if ever take.  Others I take somewhat regularly.  My benadryl is a regular, the large white tabs are migraine pills which are regulars and the inhaler can be a regular in the summer.  The other 2 we really hope to avoid at all cost!

 Well, I hope you've been intrigued by this strange post.  All told I take 18 different medications currently, 30 doses of medications daily, and 38 pills, powders, sprays, chugs all in total.  Wow.  I find that amazing.  I'm a chemical stew!

November 9 - Thankful (Plus a few photos for a welcome change of pace)

Today I actually took a few photos to put up here on my photo blog.  What an accomplishment.  I am amazing.  Can you hear the sarcasm dripping in my writing?  Its there, believe me.

Before I post them, let me bore you with several things.  Some much needed information about my day and my list of things I'm thankful for today.

First off, it has been a unique day.  At times I have been extremely happy and high as a kite (quite literally.)  Other times, I have been dashed against the rocks and as low as a person can be.  Pain is a bi**h.  I actually (against doctors orders) took my Oxycontin 2 times today.  The pain was bad.  I really didn't eat anything significant to speak of, even with all the pain medications, but I really needed it to get me through.  I have such a long list for the GI tomorrow.  I am working on my assertiveness and am going to be VERY firm and EXTREMELY honest with him.  Maybe I should print out some of my logs from this blog to show him exactly how I've been feeling.  Its a thought. 

The good news is that my appointment with the ENT (ear, nose, and throat doctor) went very well.  The looked at my vocal chords and they are in great shape.  The problem with my voice is actually because my throat and mouth are WAY to dry.  I have dry mucus in my throat.  How does one have dry mucus?  I am confused about that but believe the incredibly handsome educated and smart doctor and am going to start a new medication to help with the problem.  He said it all probably began with all the medications that I take.  About half of them cause dry mouth and throat and it is just making a slightly natural predilection for me worse.  So, we'll work on that.  Easy enough solution.  I just hate taking 2 more pills a day.  With that my count will almost be up to 30 pills/doses of medications a day!  OMG - I'm only 31.  Can you imagine where I'll be when I'm 40?

On to the next topic of conversation.  My thankfulness.  Today I am thankful for:

1. Books - I stopped at Barnes and Noble to get my 'dinner' (a croissant-not too doughy, a banana, and a hot apple cider) at the Starbucks there and browsed around the children's section.  I found the most adorable book about an Owl and I can't wait to read it to my preschoolers tomorrow or Friday!
2. Directions - The directions to the clinic for the ENT were great and I got there with no trouble at all.  I was early (big surprise for me) and had plenty of time to use the restroom, take my pain meds (thank you God) and drink a protein shake well before my appointment so I didn't risk vomiting when they did the camera down my throat.
3. My organizational skills - I have all of my things neatly packed and stowed away and all is set for the night and for the morning.  Hopefully all will go smoothly and I will be up and ready in plenty of time to leave my motel room and make the 15 minute trek down the road to the hospital for my doctor's visit in the morning.  (Sorry, that sounded really vain didn't it?)

Okay, now on to a few pictures.  I hope you like them.  Have a lovely evening and a wonderful tomorrow.  Love to everyone, everywhere (can you tell I'm high again?)  Enjoy!

A very ominous sky while I was driving after my doctor's appointment.  Spooky!

The sky getting a bit brighter!

A bright and glorious sky!  Beautiful!

The book I got at Barnes and Noble.  Isn't it so cute?!

Some fabric I picked up at Jo-Ann, etc.  Hmmm....

And so...

And so the days pass.  Nothing new here.  I'm 'enjoying' my time off and trying to settle myself.  News from the doctor's office brings more speculation and, at present, no real new information.  Both of the surgeon's who work on my 'case' (as I guess I'm now being called, ick!) are out of town!  I have to wait until Thursday or Friday to get any real information, and I am very afraid I may go insane by then.  Ugh!  But, we must keep plugging away and let the days go...

At least I have my 'crafting' and the awesome series I've started watching on Netflix, Being Human.  Not the new, copied American version, but the original BBC version.  I love it and am already part way through Series 2.  Lord, I have to get out of this house...

So, here's some of the 'craftiness' I've been up to.  Enjoy!

Another embroidery piece.  I realized something as I was uploading this photo.  I have all these pieces I've made in the last few weeks and days, and I have no idea what I'm doing with them.  Right now they're just laying on the ironing board, waiting.  Crap, all that work has to be for something?  Must think on this...

My new purse!!!  Yeah, I know, another purse.  I swear though, this will be the last for a while that I make myself.  I've adapted and expanded my first purse attempt, which can be seen here.  I love my first version, but it is just a tad too small.  This one is a medium (to me) sized purse and is perfect.  I also re-did the handles.  Now there are two handles.  I really love it and am so insane about this fabric.  Isn't it gorgeous?!!!

The interior of the new purse.  This yellow check is fabric I've had for several years.  I used most of it up with this project and was so thrilled it went so well with my main fabric!

Interior, filled.  Can I say, I love that when I look in my purse I see a homemade wristlet, homemade tea wallet, and inside the wristlet, a homemade wallet.  I feel so talented!  Oh no, I feel a swelled head coming on!

And finally, my dinner.  Yummy!  This is a recipe I found somewhere on line and made tonight.  Baked acorn squash with apple, cinnamon, maple syrup filling.  So good!  Now, which would you rather eat: the picture above or...

this.  Same food, just pureed.  My life is so sad.  It was still really good, much easier for me to eat but, just lacking the original beauty.   *Sigh*

And by the way, I really want some pizza.  Really, really badly.  I've been craving it for about 3 weeks, and have kept myself away.  But, for how much longer?  I know, the pain isn't worth the pleasure, but oh...for one slice...

Finally, a special thanks to my friend Michele.  I've been wallowing in my own self pity and avoiding contact with the outside world.  (Just because I'm me, and I'm like that.)  She came over tonight and surprised me with a visit.  It was so nice to talk (and about subjects OTHER than me & my problems) and I felt better for it.  More human.  Anyway, thanks Michele.  I needed that, even if I didn't know it.  (Also, sorry about the house.  this will teach me to red-up a bit more and try not to live like such a slob, even if I'm sick.)

I'm home

Hello friends, I'm home.  Yesterday I left Ohio State Med.  I had been there since Tuesday afternoon and sadly, nothing has changed.  I had several tests, some very unpleasant and had help keeping my pain under control.  Now I'm home and waiting...none of the doctors know what the problem is and I'm lost.  I'm taking this week off of work to sort out my feelings and try to come to terms with what is happening, especially if no one can find anything to help.  I'm waiting for a few more test results, but honestly don't have much confidence that they will reveal everything.

Please be patient with me as I try to find my footing.  I'm a bit emotional right now and very confused.  Is it just me?  Am I being to sensitive?  Am I crazy?  I hope not and I pray the doctors will continue to help.  But, for now, I'll go. 

Best to all.  I'll try to take a few photos in the coming week and post something interesting for you.

April

Day 6: Dream a little dream of...

Today's writing is about what I dreamed last night.  Unfortunately I didn't get much sleep last night and don't recall any dreams.  Instead I'll tell you about what happened when I was 'out' for my procedure today.  I'm wishing it was a dream, but...

Today I had a procedure that is becoming quite routine for me.  However, as all things medical go, I've never had a 'routine' experience.  Somehow there is always something different or 'off' each time that makes each experience unique.  (How I wish this wasn't so!)  Today something happened during my procedure that does not normally happen and I pray never happens again.  I didn't get to speak to my surgeon after the procedure (he's the chief of surgery and often has to skip out right afterwards.)  I spoke with one of his residents but decided to wait to speak with Dr. Melvin about this at my follow up in a couple weeks.

So things started out normally.  Hooked up to my IV, tons of routine questions, into the procedure room and start to get ready.  The nurse got me all set, the doctors came in and things were ready to go.  They put this lovely bite/tube in your mouth, shoot you up with a lovely combination of medications and soon you feel a bit drowsy and fall into a 'dream like sleep.'  Usually you are pretty much out and don't know what's going on and/or feel anything.  On one prior occasion I had had several procedures with anesthesia in a few weeks and I had built up a tolerance.  I was 'numb' to what was happening but stayed pretty much awake throughout the process.  I thought it was kind of cool to hear what the docs were saying and see a little bit of what was the camera saw on the monitor. 

This time, however, I was 'asleep' but at the end of my procedure something happened.  I 'woke up' and could feel everything but wasn't able to open my eyes and (obviously since I had a tube down my throat) to speak.  I felt the tube in my throat, I heard what the doctors were talking about (the infection in my esophagus), and to my horror, felt when he took a biopsy.  The pinch and stab was not pleasant.

At some point they must have either given me more medication or I just fell back under because the next thing I remember was being back in one of the rooms.  When I woke up the memory of the experience was fresh and frankly I was a bit upset and frazzled.  I mentioned to the nurse when I was finally really awake that I experienced quite a bit of the procedure and she was a bit horrified herself.  I didn't go into detail and as I said didn't get to speak directly with MY surgeon, but rest assured this will be something we talk about at my visit and hopefully we can avoid having this happen again.  Honestly, its still kinda freaking me out and I don't want to talk about it any more.  I have a feeling I know what I'm going to dream about tonight and I don't think its going to be pleasant!

WHAT THE .....Monkey?!!!

Monkey is the word I use when I don't want to swear or say something inappropriate.  The children think it is funny and don't consider the fact that I'm upset, hurt or seriously monkeyed! Today I would say I was all three of those things.

For a Monday the day started out great.  I was up and at work by 6:45 am, got a lot of things done while hanging with Before School (my kids helped me do some coloring for preschool and even made me my own place mat for snack!  Love them.)  Perfect start to the day.

Then Preschool.  Also a breeze.  We only have a few kids so far (some aren't three yet and others are traveling), so Miss Lowrene (my lead teacher) was great by herself and things went EXTREMELY well for a first day.  Since things were good this meant I could get some work done.  Off to the grocery store, nice time shopping, found everything I needed, quick & pleasant check out.  All is right with the world.  At this point I should have guessed that I was screwed...monkeyed.

After unloading and putting away my groceries and supplies I settled into my office to get some work done.  Time sheets, request for leave forms, tons and tons of paperwork anxiously waiting for me.  Not my favorite work, but not too difficult.  So I settled in and got to work.

At about noon, things started to go wrong.  I was hot.  Really hot.  At first I shrugged it off.  Our building is a mess when it comes to temperature regulation and I figured I was being paid back for all the whining I had been doing lately about the icebox that is my office.  Funny thing though, it got worse.  Then I realized the heat was only on my face and neck.  Odd...

At 12:30 I was getting ready to go to lunch.  I went to the restroom quick before I left and then I knew.  Idiot.  I've done this before.  Several times.  My face and neck, chest, and now belly were all covered in large red splotches.  Some you could even call welts. Monkey...hives.  So, I went home quick.  Took a dose of liquid benadryl (the last I had), called the allergist and attempted to eat a little something.  Nope, that wasn't going to happen either.  My normal esophagus problem was worsened with the swelling and eating was pretty much out of the question.  Monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey!  I contemplated staying home.  What good would that do?  I had lots of work to do and frankly if it got worse I was closer to Urgent Care and the ER while at work.

Anyway.  The afternoon was miserable.  I itched everywhere.  Top of my head to the bottom of my feet.  EVERYWHERE.  I probably looked like someone who has fleas or lice since I was itching and wiggling so much.  Hives really stink.  A lot!  The doctor's office called back and confirmed my suspicion.  I'm very sensitive to weed pollen and it is really high right now.  (My allergist likes to remind me that my reactions to weed and grass pollens are 'off the chart!')  Take 2 of my regular antihistamines at bedtime (instead of one and these suckers are STRONG) and start taking Zyrtec to in the morning. 

After finishing work, I went straight to the pharmacy, got some more meds (lovely...I'm going broke for drugs) and went home to drug up.  After taking a Zyrtec and sitting in my air conditioned bedroom a while, things got better.  My face is still a bit red, but the general 'sunburn' appearance to the rest of my skin has faded a bit.  My lips are still slightly swelled and I'll be sleeping with my epi pens on the nightstand, but for now things have slightly improved.  For now....

So, can I say I think I am one tough b**ch?  Its not enough to have major esophageal and stomach problems, to have a stress fracture, to have asthma that is progressively worsening, and so on. But to have such severe allergies I break out in hives just from the air.  Wow.  That's monkey.  And I not only worked a regular full day, I worked over.  I didn't go home early or even on time.  I stayed, did all the things that needed to be done and was pleased with what was happening when I left.  I'm proud of myself.

Now here I am at the end of the day, whining to you, my computer, and praying for an easier day tomorrow.  I honestly have no delusion that it will happen, but I'll still pray for it and hope.  Maybe I'll laugh a bit too as I read this.  It really is kinda funny.  And if I don't laugh I will cry (and have my eventual nervous break down.  Come on folks, we all know its coming...)

Well, here's my photos for tonight.  The first one and last one are pretty nice.  The other two, well they are a statement to my current life.  Our Photo Challenge today was something you purchased and the two middle photos fit that bill. Enjoy!

There are some lovely benefits to getting up early.  A beautiful sunrise in Athens County, Ohio.

Photo Challenge: Day 29-Purchased!  I bought this just this afternoon to help stem the tide of hives.

This chain was made by one of my EIGHT YEAR OLD BOYS.  Specifically for me.  Totally blew my mind.  Sometimes they are so sweet.  Wait a minute, what's he up to?

A new walking spot

Today after my doctors apt. I went on a walk at a park not far from the office.  It is a lovely park and I'm so glad I did the research last night to find it.  The park is Antrim Park in Columbus, just off of Olentangy River Road.  The park itself is rather large and has a variety of areas for recreation.  It is also a trail head for the Olentangy Trail system that runs through Columbus.

But the part of the park I enjoyed today was the loop around the quarried lake.  It's a 1.2 mile loop trail and its lovely.  My photos tonight are from around the lake and of the trail.  I had a great walk, I went around 3 times, my ankle barely hurt at all and maybe when I'm in Columbus for my next doctor's apt on Friday (different doctor) I'll try jogging the trail part way.  Hmmm...we'll see how things go the next few days.

Anyways, time for the photos.  Some of my photos are pretty good, others are just okay.  My good camera died after about 5 pictures so, I had to shoot the rest with my Blackberry.  Next time, I'll remember to charge the battery before I travel.

Enjoy!

Doesn't this look like the perfect spot to sit and just relax a stressful day away?

This really is a beautiful park and to think it is right next to 315, in the heart of Columbus.  Seriously, have I mentioned how much I want to live in Columbus?