Sunday, October 2, 2011

Sounds of Silence

I like to talk.  Its one of the good things about what I do for a living.  I get to talk.  At the Front Desk, with my kids, with parents, staff, at events, in meetings; I do a lot of talking.  So, that said, its really hard for me right now.  I can't talk.  I have a little bit of a 'squalk' but, on the whole not a lot is coming out.  To me its embarrassing.  I am not able to effectively live my life, do my job and function as I normally would.  Even as a single person I'm always talking at home.  Whether its on the phone, talking to myself or normally singing along with whatever music I have playing while I'm doing other things.  So, I'm kind of at a lose.

Its not that I haven't had laryngitis before.  I have.  In the past several years I've had many bouts.  It usually lasts 2 days and then I get most of my voice back.  That is not happening this time.  I suppose that is part of what's frustrating me.  I'm not making a rebound.  I saw my internist on Thursday and he recommended rest and fluids.  We can't do any type of meds because A, they probably wouldn't do anything and B, they would exacerbate my other issues.  We both know where this comes from and that is, to me, becoming infuriating.  I'm not mad at the doctors, that would be silly.  I'm mad at myself, a little at God (sorry, I know its wrong) and just mad in general.  My esophagus and stomach cause this.  Acid corrosion in my esophagus onto my vocal chords, and the raging infection in my esophagus that has probably moved into my vocal chords, are the underlying problem.  Is there no end to the litany of problems that my digestive system feels the need to throw at me?

So, here I sit.  In silence.  I've spent the bulk of the weekend at home, in my room, resting.  No talking.  Communication through e-mail, texts, Facebook and now Blogger.  I'm dealing with the situation and pray that tomorrow I'll wake up and things will get better.  I've been silent and that is 'supposed' to help.  I don't feel like it has but, what can I do but try?  I'll wait it out for now.  I go back to the doctor on Thursday and see no point in attempting to call before then.  I've just gotta deal with it and do the best I can.  (Can you tell I'm trying to give myself a pep talk?)

Anyway, the best thing about this weekend has been resting and working on simple things.  You'll see in my photos below some of the things I've been doing.  Hope you like my pictures.  If you need to get a hold of me, e-mail, text or Facebook would be best for the foreseeable future.  Don't bother trying to call, I won't be answering.  *sigh*

Have a great week!!

I have wanted to try my hand at embroidery and this is my first real attempt.  I like it.  It took a little more time than I thought and isn't perfect, but it's cute.

Yummy vegan chocolate chip pancakes I had for dinner.  Not really 'healthy' but healthier than the alternative.  No milk, eggs, oil, so a little better than usual.  And they were really good!

I had to go to the store yesterday (for medicine) so I took a more scenic route home.  This was along the way and I thought it was a pretty view.
I had to get out today and found this tree trunk.  Pretty in its decomposing state.  Yeah, it was covered with fungus!

More fungus in my yard.  This is on/beside a tree stump in the front yard.  Fungus doing its job!

More fungus that's on the stump.  So pretty.

Changing leaves.  Welcome Fall!!!
A breathtaking sunset.  I almost missed it.  I went to the kitchen and was washing up a few dishes and happened to look out the window above the sink.  I saw this, grabbed my jacket, camera and ran to the back yard.  Glad I did as it was gone in literally 3 minutes.

To end this post, I'll conclude with the lyrics from a song I've been listening to a lot lately.  I travel a good deal, and am several hours and quite a few miles away from the people I love the most.  My heart is spread out in Ohio and the US as a whole.  But, I love this song because as the last lines say, 'don't count the miles, count the I Love You's.'

Miles sung by Christina Perri

Kiss me on my shoulder
Tell me its not over
Promise to always come home to you
Remind me that I'm older
To be brave, smart, sweet and bolder
Don't give up on what we're trying to do

Don't count the miles
Count the I Love Yous


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