Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Day 6: Dream a little dream of...

Today's writing is about what I dreamed last night.  Unfortunately I didn't get much sleep last night and don't recall any dreams.  Instead I'll tell you about what happened when I was 'out' for my procedure today.  I'm wishing it was a dream, but...

Today I had a procedure that is becoming quite routine for me.  However, as all things medical go, I've never had a 'routine' experience.  Somehow there is always something different or 'off' each time that makes each experience unique.  (How I wish this wasn't so!)  Today something happened during my procedure that does not normally happen and I pray never happens again.  I didn't get to speak to my surgeon after the procedure (he's the chief of surgery and often has to skip out right afterwards.)  I spoke with one of his residents but decided to wait to speak with Dr. Melvin about this at my follow up in a couple weeks.

So things started out normally.  Hooked up to my IV, tons of routine questions, into the procedure room and start to get ready.  The nurse got me all set, the doctors came in and things were ready to go.  They put this lovely bite/tube in your mouth, shoot you up with a lovely combination of medications and soon you feel a bit drowsy and fall into a 'dream like sleep.'  Usually you are pretty much out and don't know what's going on and/or feel anything.  On one prior occasion I had had several procedures with anesthesia in a few weeks and I had built up a tolerance.  I was 'numb' to what was happening but stayed pretty much awake throughout the process.  I thought it was kind of cool to hear what the docs were saying and see a little bit of what was the camera saw on the monitor. 

This time, however, I was 'asleep' but at the end of my procedure something happened.  I 'woke up' and could feel everything but wasn't able to open my eyes and (obviously since I had a tube down my throat) to speak.  I felt the tube in my throat, I heard what the doctors were talking about (the infection in my esophagus), and to my horror, felt when he took a biopsy.  The pinch and stab was not pleasant.

At some point they must have either given me more medication or I just fell back under because the next thing I remember was being back in one of the rooms.  When I woke up the memory of the experience was fresh and frankly I was a bit upset and frazzled.  I mentioned to the nurse when I was finally really awake that I experienced quite a bit of the procedure and she was a bit horrified herself.  I didn't go into detail and as I said didn't get to speak directly with MY surgeon, but rest assured this will be something we talk about at my visit and hopefully we can avoid having this happen again.  Honestly, its still kinda freaking me out and I don't want to talk about it any more.  I have a feeling I know what I'm going to dream about tonight and I don't think its going to be pleasant!


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